A little insight into how I’ve learned to do the seemingly impossible — stop eating while I’m ahead, and it’s not how you might think //

Have you ever had a dozen fresh donuts sitting in front of you in the morning? Perhaps someone went out and got them for you by surprise. You’re sitting in front of those donuts and think “lordy lordy, those look divine”. They smell of heavenly sweet yeast and look perfectly golden brown with a picture perfect glaze that’s right on the edge of its melting point.

Your brain cannot stop sending you signals of wanting the donut but your mind keeps reminding you that it’s off-limits.

“I really shouldn’t”.

“It’s tempting, but no thank you”.

“A moment on the lips, forever on the hips”.

“I can’t, I’m trying not to eat carbs”.

But they look and smell so phenomenal…you can’t stop thinking of them.

“Alright maybe I’ll just try half. Will you split one with me?”

*eats half* — “omg this is divine I am having an out of body animalistic response to this idk what’s happening all I know is I want more now but I’m not allowed any more than this”

*ignores the rest of the donuts for a while by suppressing strong craving for more*

Later after dinner, you reward your earlier example of self control with another donut and justify it by thinking, “I held off this long, I think I’ve earned it by now”.

Can you relate?

Even if you’ve never experienced this exact story, have you ever felt like you had to exercise Hulk-like power of self-control and discipline to choose not to partake in a certain food?

Have you ever said, “I can’t keep x in the house because if I do I will just keep eating it”?

Have you ever heard someone say they treat themselves with a square of dark chocolate for dessert and thought, “who the **** can just eat one small square of chocolate and stop there?”

The truth is, we, as a collective whole, are terrible at portion control.

There are multiple things that contribute to this, but the main culprit is NOT a lack of self-control.

James Clear, author of the New York Times bestselling book Atomic Habits, states in the book that, “self-control is a short-term strategy, not a long-term one”.

If you haven’t read his book on habits (you should), here is a brief explanation of his “Habit Loop”

The Habit Loop shows that all habits are formed from this process: cue, craving, response, reward.

Use the previous donut example, this is how the habit loop might go:

Cue - sight and smell of glorious donuts

Craving - I need a donut in my mouth

Response - eats half a donut to practice self control

Reward - the satisfaction of having decent self-control and a small taste of the donut

The cycle then leads right back into another cue, which often times goes something like this:

Cue - feels like diet is already ruined creating a sense of “this is my last chance to eat this before I get back on my diet tomorrow”

Craving - needs to eat more donut at the thought of never being allowed it again

Response - eats another whole donut (or more), which is now 50% more donut than if they had just eaten a whole one at the initial craving

Reward - is now more than satisfied with taste of donut and quantity of calories

To finalize this example, this is typically the loop that follows next:

Cue - feelings of guilt and lack of control for overeating on unhealthy food

Craving - wants to regain self control and rid guilt

Response - goes on strict calorie restrictive, clean eating diet

Reward - regains sense of self-control and feels proud of self…until the next tempting cue comes along

It’s not that we lack self-control, it’s that we are misplacing the use of it. We are not bad at portion control because of a lack of control, it is the control itself that makes us bad at portion control. Self-control is not sustainable.

When we start to focus on our health rather than our weight, out of a place of self-love rather than self-hate, all of those controlling rules start to fall away. Instead, you start to see the donuts as something that you’d delight in having a little bit of, but you are more than happy to say no to overindulging in it because you know it isn’t going to nourish you well, you won’t like the way you’ll feel after having too much, and you KNOW you are allowed to eat it whenever you choose to. When we are more health focused than weight focused, it removes all of those sneaky, tempting, rebellious feelings we get from slipping off of our “diet” to having something “naughty”. It takes away a lot of the appeal of eating too much of a bad thing because why shove it all into your face right now when you could also just have another half tomorrow if you wanted to? You can have it whenever you want.

We want what we can’t have. It’s human nature. It’s the habit loop.

It’s why you drank way too much when you were underaged and now hardly at all. It’s why the grass is greener on the other side. And it’s why you keep overindulging in the foods you’ve labeled as “bad, not allowed, or off-limits”.

This used to be me. I was a dessert fanatic. I would tell myself that if I ate super squeaky clean otherwise that I could validate bingeing out on sweets when I got the chance. I couldn’t fathom the idea of stopping at a half a donut or really even just one whole one. I would almost always still want more until I felt physically sick.

And guess what.

This week, I mastered the art of eating half a donut. And I did it all out of self-love, not deprivation.

I realized that if I only had a whole sugary donut for breakfast, it would make me feel that sluggish, gross fullness that doesn’t really satisfy and leaves me hungry in like an hour. Instead, I knew that if I chose to eat half the donut and supplement it with a nourishing piece of avocado toast + some eggs that I would walk away from breakfast feeling that good good fullness as well as energized, healthy, and fueled until lunch. So that’s what I did. And I never looked back. Never once did I desire to sneak that other half while no one was looking. I felt ultra satisfied with the amount I had and it didn’t make me feel like sugar overload.

And guess what the best part was?

The next day, I didn’t feel the need to go on a cleanse or eat really clean because of it. Actually, I went back in for the other half the next day. Because I COULD. And I made the same breakfast and it felt and tasted just as good as the day before.

That is what I call food freedom. The freedom to make conscious and clear decisions about the food you eat without deprivation or overindulgence.

THIS IS POSSIBLE FOR YOU.

If you feel like you’re constantly having a battle in your head about if you can or cannot eat certain things, I am here to tell you it does not have to be this way. I want to help you learn the art of portion control. And I mean real, true, sustainable portion control that isn’t driven by your flakey lack of self-control.

If you’re ready to master the art of eating half a donut, click the button below to sign up for six weeks of 1:1 virtual nutrition counseling with me where we will change the way you think about food, dieting, and yourself for GOOD.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to comment on this post or hit me up on the contact page. Or, find me on any of my socials.

XOXO,

Kaitlyn

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